i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
