you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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