Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
