so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
