what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i drank out of a bidet.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
