Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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