Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my sisters under your porch take her home
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?