He kissed a someone with a penis
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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