Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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