In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
