bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I have fence marks all over my body
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
