dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
