It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.