So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.