508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
