I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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