If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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