im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
