pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
