i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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