Apparently you make a good broom.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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