sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
