I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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