4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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