By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize