some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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