i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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