like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize