We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize