her vagine was all disorganized.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Someone signed my nipple.
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