I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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