Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
