I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
