But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize