imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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