I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
