Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
