Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Randomize
