Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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