office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
