then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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