Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
