Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
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If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
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Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
i out mim tonsoeep
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