I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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