i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I need water and some morals
Randomize
