No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
