I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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