I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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