So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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