if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
