Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
