I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
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The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.