I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
