my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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