i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize
