I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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