Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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