Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
