He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
