so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
