I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
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they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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